When a course mate shared his wedding IV on the departmental Whatsapp group all the guys were like “how manage?” It was barely three months after we passed out from NYSC.
Many of us were still trying to figure out what to do with our life after the once distant future of university and service year, which now belong in the past.
Many of us were either not working or just getting by with low paying jobs just to make ends meet pending when a big break will come, only few of us got the plum job that is everybody’s dream. I can’t tell which of the categories our soon to be married friend belonged, I mean guys whose only possession on earth is faith get married too.
For one of our mates to be getting married “too soon” called for more questions than felicitation among the guys. Does he have a good job, how much could he have made in such a short period, who is sponsoring the wedding; were some of the pertinent questions provoked by news of our friend’s wedding.
These questions show how big a factor some level of financial security – which, by the way, is a relative term among different male demographies – is when it comes to a man deciding to marry.
A factory worker with an O’level certificate considers a monthly take home of 30,000 Naira enough money to get himself a room apartment overtime whereas such amount is barely enough to take care of data subscription for an average graduate who “manages” a teaching job in the same city and lives comfortably under his parents/guardians’ roof.
A factory worker only needs a a year or two, he will be planning to take the next big step of his life – marriage! Meanwhile, the graduate is still trusting God for his big break. He believes with a big break he would be able to get a good accommodation and pay other bills without stress.
Few more years, the factory worker is married with a kid. He believes one day things will get better meanwhile for the time being, he is putting more effort at exploring supplementary channels of wealth creation.
The graduate is still jumping from girl to girl; He considers it suicidal to marry with such a meager income. His years of exposure in school has thought him that the good life is to be lived large and the only way into the good life is a big break, not some unfortunate start from scratch.
I used to say I won’t get married until I am able to meet my needs and that of three others efficiently. I found myself repeatedly saying the words “one can’t build a life, buy a car or go on vacation with this peanut” before I resigned from a job that paid 26,210 Naira as monthly take home about three months ago.
“one can’t build a life, buy a car or go on vacation with on peanuts”
This is one of the problems with having the big picture without a corresponding knowledge of starting from somewhere and growing to the top. My mind changed after series of interaction with “made men” who started from the bottom and ambitious ladies who see nothing wrong with starting small.
Watch out for the concluding part of this post. Meanwhile, kindly share in the comment section how rich a guy should be before thinking marriage?