Long distance relationship (LDR) is a (romantic, of course!) relationship where the guy cannot deliver a cup cake, fruit salad, ice cream etc to his lady on his way from work or take her out casually on weekends for some grilled chicken and homemade fruit juice simply because the difference in their location doesn’t give room for such outings on a regular basis.
Now, not every so called long distance relationship started off with the aim to be long distance. The search for jobs, educational pursuits, business opportunities, career advancement; a better life basically, has led to many of what started as short distance relationships evolving into long distance.
However, there are long distance relationships that actually started as long distance relationship. These types of relationships begin in form of online or “referral” dating built on the hope that someday they will bring love close or love bring them close, which ever. What a hope!
Long distance relationships might not be highly recommended when marriage is in view but should it be a no, no?
Well, there are different preferences for different people. While many may consider LDR a no, no; others see a massive possibility in it, this is particularly true of people who treasure space in their relationship.
I’ll share on this post what I consider to be the negatives and positives of LDR:
You Don’t Have The Benefit of Physical Presence
I remember way back in my university days. One hot afternoon, my teeth clattered with cold and my body was so hot that it could heat up a tea cup. I picked up my phone but couldn’t figure out exactly who to call. I lay on my bed shivering away when I heard “knock-knock” on the door. My girlfriend came in like a very present help in my time of need. She came to say hello to me on her way from the grocery shop. Even before I used the drugs she got me, I was already sweating from head to toe. Her presence had such powerful healing effect on me.
You Can’t Share Real Time Moments Together
You both love movies but since he is not available you either go to the cinema alone or in the company of your friends who are with their partners.
There was this beautiful scene in the movie that would have made you rub his head slowly and be like “babe, did you just see that?” alas he is not available. The best you can do is to make a mental note of all the things you’d rather have him do with you physically and try to reproduce them when next he calls. Two problems with that: (1) You won’t be able to present the bottom-pot of the whole experience (2) even if you manage to, it would have lost all so much steam that it’s not as exciting as the original experience.
Lack of Deep Level Knowledge of Your Partner
It is said that you can never fully understand human beings even after living together for years. If that is true, where, then, is the place of planning a future with someone you don’t know beyond the face you see on Skype or the voice you hear on the phone, who wouldn’t bring his A personality to impress a potential partner when talking on the phone?
It’s safer, before laying claim to knowing someone, to at least have seen them severally how they react when offended, when happy/excited, or when sad; the real personality comes to the fore in situations like that and a long distance relationship doesn’t give room for such.
It Could Be a Breeding Ground for Infidelity
Married couples who live under the same roof still battle infidelity how much more a guy and a lady who are still seeing what will become of their relationship.
This particularly applies to relationships where one of the partners had to move to a different location and the other is unhealthily jealous. Every missed call, every unreplied message, and every voice in the background becomes a potential cause of argument.
It Gives Room For Deception
This is true of relationship founded and built upon the perceived online personality. While some people are not different in reality from what they are online many actually give a false impression of their real life self. He could be an Ajegunle girl having the appearance of a Lekki girl or and Iyana Ipaja guy with the swag of an Islander. If an online relationship must grow, believing must be accompanied by seeing, to avoid stories that touch the heart.
High Cost of Keeping in Touch
Keeping in touch is the life source of every relationship. Normally, it takes a great deal of time and money to maintain a functional relationship however this cost crosses to a higher side when it comes to a long distance relationship. A speaker was once asked her take about long distance relationship and she subtly replied “I have nothing against LDR, just that MTN and GLO that will tell you”. It cost money to buy data anytime but it cost even more in a relationship where keeping in touch means spending data and airtime.
- Being in love could be so engrossing that partners no longer know how to live independently. In such cases, a long distance relationship, particularly the type that came about as a result of temporary relocation gives room for both parties to grow together again, individually.
- Long distance relationship could serve as litmus test for the marriage life where work might periodically require the couple to be apart from time to time
- Long distance relationship could serve as an avenue to strengthen communication between the two parties and to enhance individual communication skills as the gulf in location requires every emotion to be packed into voice to get them communicated. And that, my friend, is a skill that only radio broadcasting teaches.
- Long distance relationship eradicates all sorts of unnecessary emotional distractions as the partners would not have the chance to be checkmating each other’s countenance and every move and getting worked-up over nothing.
- It helps to evaluate individual emotional maturity and sense of judgment as every disagreement would have to be resolved without the advantage of physical presence and body language.
What do I think about LDR?
With one of my love languages being Quality Time, I will go for a short distance relationship anytime any day as against going into a LDR from the onset.
However, we’ve seen that there are relationships which started off as close but became LDR overtime owing to the search for a better life. With integrity and trust in place distance is just another word. So, you weigh both sides of the matter and go with what’s best for you and your relationship.
Let’s know what you think about long distance relationship, kindly share your views in the comment section.