“He must be a godly man … but not too spiritual”
That was the response I got when I asked a christian lady what the single most important characteristic she looks out for in a husband material is.
I took out time to find out what it means for a man to be godly from some of my close female friends. Their responses are below, in no particular order:
- He must be God fearing
- He must be lovely
- He must be caring
- He must be ambitious
- He must have vision
- He must be matured
- He must be responsible
I also asked them what it means to be spiritual, at least if I can understand the meaning of “spiritual” then I should be able to figure out the what “too spiritual” connote by simply replacing “too” with “over”.
I was expecting to hear stuffs like “ever present in church”, “always blasting in tongues”, “overtly committed to church duties”, “fasting to shreds” etc
I was shocked when I got similar responses for “spiritual” as I got for “godly”. I couldn’t help but shout in amazement “these are the same thing you mentioned about a man being “godly…”
At this point, they began to speak in clear terms what “too spiritual” connotes.
Yes, a godly lady wants an equally godly man as husband but there are usually further caveats: this godly man must not be too spiritual.
And by being “too spiritual” a lady could mean any or all of the following, and some more:
- He can’t express his feelings without tying them up with “God willing“,”by the grace of God” and other Christianese terms here and there, (hey, we’re talking about what you feel for her here, not church growth).
- He is not open to exploring new and beautiful romantic (don’t read sexual) ideas
- He can’t hold a meaningful discussion on any other topic outside the Bible and church
- He doesn’t show any interest in her interests
- He has no sense of humour and doesn’t plan to get some, not even for her sake
“How will the relationship be lively like that na” one of the respondent added somewhat frustratingly.
How will the relationship be lively like that na?
There you are guys!!!
She doesn’t have any problems with your church commitments and by “too spiritual” she is not saying you shouldn’t pray or study the bible.
As a matter of fact, she finds it romantic if you can be a pastor over her. But… but… but When it is time for the both of you to be alone don’t make it another time for scriptural exegesis, there is time for everything. Doing that is what makes you too spiritual, and she doesn’t like that, even if you meet fulfill the first requisite of being “godly”.
Ladies, what is the most important characteristic you look out for in a husband material?
Share in the comments section…