Guys like to act as though they are not emotionally available or interested in a relationship if it is the lady that makes the first move.
This move might be through her luring looks and/or words of affirmation, frequent late night calls and all that. Guys would begin to wonder how on earth a lady can be so sure that a handsome dude, mature, smart and possessing good command of English is emotionally available…
There was this encounter I had in my final year in the university with Amara; Amara is pretty, confident, daring and authoritative. She confronted me for the first time after a prolonged period of “sisterly distant” observation.
That day was confession day because she began to tell me all what she has been able to observe from a distant. “You are always quiet, easy going, always waiting first to be greeted… even when greeted, you hardly respond…” The gen-gen moment came when she said “from the way I’m looking at you, I don’t think you are even in a relationship sef”.
Her instincts told her I was not in any relationship, Ah!!!
I was in final year of my academic journey, it is at this stage of your undergrad life that fellowship brethren begin to ask you “what’s the Lord saying, are you seeing a vision that may need clarifying…” and other questions like that especially when you’re not known to be particularly close to a particular sister and vice versa… You definitely cannot be single in peace!!!
She was right to think I was emotionally available for a relationship because even though there was a babe we’ve been close for some time and moves have been made to take the “relationship” into the next level, there was no valid agreement in words. And you know words are to relationships what a C of O is to a piece of land prone to dispute.
Since two cannot work except they have agreed on the course of their journey, I can safely say that I was actually emotionally available for a relationship, even though It was a reality I didn’t want to accept so I kinda consoled myself with the thought that we were dating.
Amara’s confrontation came as a rude shock!!!! I mean the guys never believe me when I try to explain the complexity around my so called relationship to them. They thought I was not been sincere with my side of the story seeing that whatever proofs of relationship the eyes needed were evident, little did they know I was just wasting my time
How Amara was able to find out without stress what I was trying to disguise my relationship status still shocks me till tomorrow. Ladies obviously see beyond physical chemistry into the deep deep things of a relationship…
Amara was darn right to think I am not in a relationship, because I was really not at the time of her observation though I deceived myself to think I was in one. SMH
Here is the lesson in this post:
Guys, bring all the “pretense commitment” you want to bring, take all the time you want, act as if you’re in oblivion to her interest or you are not interested in her yourself… follow any plan, use any tactics in order to have the advantage, the truth is a lady always knows, always, when you are emotionally available.
And for the records, you’re being nothing but a coward if you’re interested in her and you’re aware of her interest and yet you wouldn’t make the move so she doesn’t “realize” you are also interested in her.
Do you have any experience acting up with a lady who knows beyond any iota of doubt that you are emotionally available? Share your experience as comments