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Should I Ask Her to “Date” Me or to Marry Me?

To Date or to Marry…
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Would you ask a lady you’ve been on her trail for the better part of a year to go out with you or for marriage when you finally get the perfect opportunity to speak with her?


Now, I have heard of guys who admitted to using the very first meeting they ever had with the lady they love to submit their intention. While the approach worked for some,  it wasn’t so for many others, at least not in their first attempt.

We’re talking about someone you’ve known only from a distance and nothing personal and you’re talking about marriage… Who marries a stranger? Besides, it’s a little too straightforward a question to ask on a first date,you may be viewed as being desperate.

There should be a time to bond; a time to be sure the person ticks the major qualities that matter most to you before any thoughts of taking the relationship to the next level.

Yeah, you can be so deeply connected with someone that you start planning the number of children to give birth to, on your first date… Emotion can be that forceful in its drive.

They make you believe the relationship is a match made in heaven and needed no further verification of personality or any “long thing”. But time soon proves you wrong.

It’s like placing the cart before the horse if you propose marriage when your focus should be getting to know her on a personal level, only for you to begin to beat yourself when you find out the cart is not moving.

Regardless of how comfortable you feel with/about someone, you shouldn’t go ahead and decide to marry them,  definitely not on your first meet. First things should come first, progress will follow naturally.

Everyone has good and bad sides or good and bad days. As it’s in our nature to always be on our good sides whenever we’re with a beloved one it becomes necessary to at least have seen the other side of your lover, whether with you or with someone else in her close circle of friends and family. You can now make an informed decision based on what you know from both sides.

It takes the period of courting to know a bit of your lady’s personality and behavior in various situations.

Bypassing this very crucial stage only shows you’re ready to take whatever ugly stuff may raise its head in your matrimonial home.

Next time you ask a lady out for the first time, no matter how serious your intentions are make sure you don’t place marriage before knowing the person you want to marry. It should be the other way around.

Even though you actually have marriage in mind, it’s safer to start by asking to know each other more, understanding each other more…. And see what happens from there. Meanwhile you know what’s on your mind, all along.

I’ll like to read your thoughts on this: would you ask her to marry you in your first date or rather know her a bit before proposing marriage?



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