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Why Many So Called Christian Brothers End Up With “Expired Ladies” As Wife

Conversation With A Falling Brother

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“Why do many godly guys often miss it in marriage… Many of them who have been virgins or have practiced chastity for a long time even end up with “expired lady” as wife… It’s unfair!”
He began.

It was quite obvious from his questions another godly guy is about losing it…

“Wait oo… What do you mean by “expired ladies?” I asked him”

“A lady that is expired na…a lady who has rocked life to the fullest only to become a church girl overnight because she needs a godfearing man as husband”…

“An “expired lady” claims to be a virgin or to have been chaste for donkey years so as to lure a naive godly guy into marital commitment only for you to realize after marriage that she is torn and tattered downstairs…”

“You’re then sentenced to a lifetime of expending your energy navigating a broad path when you had expected a path so narrow you’ll struggle to get through, it’s not fair na”

“That’s really unfair” I replied, showing as much empathy as I could. Then continued,”You see, the issue of marriage is one that requires complete carefulness…. I may not be married yet but I open myself to learn as much as I can about the subject”

“When the church gave guidelines and regulations on marriage, some of the so called godly guys called them ancient…”



“What they don’t know is that the purpose for creating those marriage rules that seem stringent to the charismatic and faith believing Christian is actually to save them from marrying an “expired lady”.

QUALITIES TO LOOK OUT FOR IN A GODLY SPOUSE

His eyes brightened up in a mild shock. I observed him for some moment to ascertain his readiness to hear more of my sermon, then I continued.

“If you check so called godly guys who ended up with an “expired lady” as wife, many of them don’t have a functional relationship with a leader over them where they can discuss serious matters of life and get useful help”.

“Some are not even committed in their local church”. They didn’t follow church guidelines on marriage conduct nor went through the marriage committee while choosing a wife”.

Now, following the church’s laid down rules for courtship and marriage may not guarantee a decent wife 100% but then the margin for ending up with an “expired lady” as wife is highly reduced.

He responded with a deep sigh and a blank stare, unconsciously giving me the permission to speak on.

“Just imagine making those elderly but dedicated women in the the marriage committee aware of your marital plans…”

“Their eyes of judgement is as accurate as a bird’s view and you can trust them to do a thorough job in finding out who she really is”

Sadly, most of you guys only warm benches in your local church, no relationship whatsoever with anyone…

You’ll be building on a shaky foundation to solely rely on your judgement and that of your equally non dedicated friends as to getting a godly lady to marry.

I could hear his mind prompting him to go take up a commitment in the church with immediate effect.

“For me oo, by God’s grace, I know there’s no way I’ll end up with an “expired lady” … God will not give me a stone for bread or a serpent in place of fish… ”

He looked at me as someone who’s lost touch with “this life wey we dey”



Like every question and answer session where answered questions give birth to more questions, what I planned to be a conclusion only turned out to be the curtain raiser for the next discussion.

Why do you think many godly guys/ladies end up with a wrong choice of marriage partner?

Share your thoughts in the comments section…

4 COMMENTS

  1. What a wonderful piece! It’s a well balanced thought. This is a two-way thing from my own perspective. Firstly, the guy is not really a Christian, even though he goes to church and that’s why he ended up with that lady. Secondly, the brother might be genuinely saved but allow the flesh to guide his choice. Perhaps the lady has some qualities (externalities) that he loves.
    The bottom line is that, the Holy Spirit will not allow us to miss it maritally unless we deliberately ignore His counsels

    • Thanks for your comment bro.
      He won’t allow us miss it but many times we’re driven by externalities hence facing a great chance of missing his lead

  2. Total Repentance should be maintained first then you Pray rightly without an idle of “person” in your heart then you get right result in marriage

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